Lady’s Guide to a Wedding in the Hamptons

Today I want to bring you my guide to a wedding in the Hamptons. This part of New York is famous for bring a summer travel destination, and it’s a great place to attend a wedding.

Wedding in the Hamptons

There’s nothing more New York than summering in the Hamptons. Every Friday the trains, buses, and roads swell with well-heeled locals heading out of Manhattan into Long Island, filling beach houses from Westhampton to Montauk.

This weekend I’m traveling with them for a very special occasion: a wedding in Southampton.

And because every self-respecting lady in London should know how to do such an event, I want to share my thoughts on going to a wedding in the Hamptons.

How to Get from New York City to the Hamptons

First things first: if you’re going to the Hamptons—whether for a wedding in the Hamptons or not—you need to travel there.

The downside is that there’s no really convenient way to get from New York City to the Hamptons. The trains are old and crowded, and the are buses slightly nicer but still packed.

Driving involves so much traffic that locals often refer to the Long Island Expressway as “the world’s longest parking lot”.

The only easy way to travel to the Hamptons is by helicopter, but the authorities are always threatening to limit the number of landings. Pity, as I just got mine serviced.

Leaving my helicopter at home, I take the train. I follow my soon-to-be-married friends’ advice to go early on Friday to avoid the crowds, but apparently I’m not the only one with this idea.

Even the 11:30am train to the Hamptons is standing-room only, but it still gets me to Southampton in just under three hours.

I’m also lucky enough to get a seat because my train from Brooklyn arrives in Jamaica—the transfer point in Queens—a few minutes before the packed service from Penn Station. Win.

Where to Stay for a Wedding in the Hamptons

Once in the Hamptons, it’s important to have a place to stay. Ideally, you’re a billionaire with a cool 20 million to throw at a 12-bedroom waterfront beach house in Southampton.

Sadly, some of us have spent our billions elsewhere so we have to opt for other accommodation.

Finding a hotel in the Hamptons can be tricky, as there aren’t many of them and most people own or rent houses for the summer.

Add to that the fact that this is one of the most popular summer travel destinations in the US, and hotel rooms can be hard to come by.

While there are a few hotels around, I go with a better option: an apartment.

I enjoy a complimentary stay at the Southampton Village Suite. It’s conveniently close to the train station and completely surprises on the upside—the photos on the website don’t do justice to how beautiful the suite is, or how big.

The only downside is that while the room has all the amenities I can imagine—including five kinds of tea—it doesn’t have shampoo. Still, it’s an amazing place to stay.

What to Do in the Hamptons

Once settled into your accommodation, it’s important to do a few things before the wedding in the Hamptons. Obviously the beach is imperative, as it’s the main reason people travel to this part of New York in the first place.

Wide, sandy beaches run all along the coast, and while the water isn’t warm in June, it’s nothing a seasoned San Franciscan—or an everyday Brit, for that matter—can’t handle.

I go down to the beach in Southampton to soak up the sun and admire the impressive beach houses along the sand, meeting a few friendly locals and a very cute dog along the way.

After the beach, pre-wedding shopping is mandatory. Southampton has a sweet little main street with all kinds of shops, from classic Ralph Lauren to preppy J.Crew.

I can’t resist picking up a pair of jeans from one of the many independent boutiques as I browse between coffees and meals with friends who are in town for the wedding.

There are also cultural and historic attractions in the Hamptons. The oldest Presbyterian church in the United States, several historic houses, and a few art galleries are highlights.

How to Do a Wedding in the Hamptons

When it comes time for the wedding in the Hamptons, there are parties galore. Friday night is perfect for a beach bonfire, and my friends do an amazing job on theirs.

The groom’s family is staying in a gorgeous house right on the waterfront, and after a brilliant pink sunset we all spend the evening under strings of lights, enjoying cocktails and roasting marshmallows for what are the best s’mores I’ve had since childhood summer camp.

On Saturday the wedding takes place at the bride’s family’s house in Southampton. It’s a spectacular event, with every detail meticulously planned and flawlessly executed.

14,000 pink roses and seemingly as many hydrangeas grace the grounds thanks to the amazing skills of Jeff Leatham, who also does the flowers for the Four Seasons George V in Paris.

The bride is beautiful in Oscar de la Renta, and the food—from the canapes to the cake—is excellent.

After the wedding ceremony and dinner, we’re given maps of the grounds, which are full of secret little cocktail outposts and dance floors.

From calvados and cigars to bars hidden under giant weeping trees, it’s a treasure hunt that lasts until 5am.

No wedding in the Hamptons would be complete without a Sunday brunch, and the next day theirs goes above and beyond.

Back at the bride’s house, there are stations offering everything from buttery lobster rolls to the biggest beef ribs I’ve ever had. Crepes, beignets, and doughnuts round out the scene.

As we enjoy food and drinks, the pool party and lawn games get underway to the sound of live music by one of the former members of famous Bluegrass band Old Crow Medicine Show.

The brunch is almost as impressive as the wedding itself, and as the afternoon wears on I can tell it’s going to be difficult to tear myself away to travel back to New York City.

How to Leave a Wedding in the Hamptons

Which brings me to the part where I give advice for how to leave a wedding in the Hamptons. In a word, don’t.

Hide in the rose garden, or the fountain, or the lake, or the house, or just about anywhere else, and hope they never find you. Sorry London, I’m not coming back.

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