Expat Thanksgiving Survival Guide

Thanksgiving overseas can be a minefield. To help people from both sides of the Atlantic navigate the holiday and avoid the slippery slope of social awkwardness, today I bring you A Lady in London’s Expat Thanksgiving Survival Guide.

From too-small ovens that can’t hold your giant turkey to confusion as to why your American expat friends don’t remember every detail of the first Thanksgiving, cultural differences can cause a lot of stress on the holiday.

My Expat Thanksgiving Survival Guide can help. Whether you’re an American, a Brit, or something else entirely, it will give you the information you need to successfully navigate the fourth Thursday in November.

The guide has two parts. The first is for Americans. If you’re from the States and find yourself in Britain on Turkey Day, there are a few things to keep in mind.

The second is for foreigners. If you’re British (or any other nationality) and find yourself invited to an American’s home for Thanksgiving in London or elsewhere in the UK, you’ll want to brush up on a number of things first.

I hope the guide helps you navigate expat Thanksgiving as well as I’ve learned to over the last decade. It’s different than the California Thanksgiving celebrations I grew up with, but just as exciting if you come prepared.

Guide for Americans

1. Get ready for your British friends to think that putting marshmallows on sweet potatoes is as disgusting as putting peanut butter and jelly together on a sandwich. We can’t blame them. They were deprived as children.

2. Be aware that your British friends will bring really strange dishes to your Thanksgiving pot luck (last year we had a chicken pot pie and meatloaf).

Sweetly, innocently, many Brits think that any American food will do. Remember it’s the thought that counts.

3. Make sure to check the size of your oven before ordering that extra-large turkey for Thanksgiving in Britain.

Given British ovens come in two sizes (postage stamp and smaller-than-a-breadbox), you may find your American-size turkey doesn’t fit.

Same goes for your tiny British refrigerator, which will be overwhelmed by the steroid-amped girth of your fresh-from-the-flyover-states bird.

4. Get ready to go to every store in London before you find Libby’s pumpkin for your pumpkin pie. You will either be laughed at by the staff or in a fight with the other Americans over the last can.

5. Brush up on the story of Thanksgiving before your British friends come over. You don’t want to get caught out trying to remember why we actually celebrate this holiday in the first place.

With our unsophisticated accents and inadequate knowledge of the Falklands War, Brits think we’re stupid enough as it is. Sigh.

6. Prepare yourself to be dismayed as your British friends refuse to take the tradition of going around the table to say what we’re thankful for seriously. As with anything that Americans care deeply about, Brits love to make fun of it.

Guide for Brits (or Any Other Nationality, Really)

1. Get ready to for your American friends to wow you with how amazing the combination of marshmallows and sweet potatoes is. You will later call your parents to tell them you were deprived as a child.

2. Do some research on what foods Americans actually eat for Thanksgiving dinner before going all-out on Martha Stewart’s meatloaf.

If you don’t, be on the lookout for fake American smiles when you show up to Thanksgiving dinner bearing a dish of food that nobody would ever eat on Thanksgiving.

Saying “it’s the thought that counts” only gets you so far in life, even with that sexy Geordie accent of yours.

3. Make sure to prepare yourself for unnecessarily large Thanksgiving turkeys. No, it’s not because Americans like to overeat (well, maybe a little bit).

It’s because leftovers are as important as Thanksgiving dinner itself. Yes, you will ride the tryptophan train for several weeks post-Turkey Day. Elastic waistbands can help here.

4. Get ready for the amazingness that is pumpkin pie. And pecan pie. And pretty much any other kind of pie. America does a few things well, and pie is one of them.

That is, if Americans can find Libby’s pumpkin (can somebody please tell the Prime Minister to do something about that? We’re rationing here, people).

5. Brace yourself for a very patchy story of the first harvest and copious use of the word ‘cornucopia’. It’s pretty much the only thing most Americans remember about the first Thanksgiving. If you don’t believe me, read this post.

6. Beware of death stares as you refuse to take the tradition of going around the table to say what we’re thankful for seriously.

You may think your witty pun is solid gold chat, but your American friends will accept nothing less than a tearful expression of gratitude for every good thing you’ve experienced this year. Especially this amazing dinner.