Lady’s Funny London Stories

I love to laugh. There’s nothing more satisfying than sitting around with friends laughing until my stomach hurts, my eyes tear up, and I can barely breathe. As such, today I want to share some funny London stories with you.

Funny London Stories

There’s been much to laugh about lately, from things that are uncannily bizarre to things that are culturally humorous to things that are just plain hilarious. So here are four funny London stories for you.

The Funny Dog in London

First in the uncannily bizarre category is an incident I witnessed earlier this week. I went out to the high street to pick up a scone from my favorite Hampstead bakery, Gail’s.

As I walked, I passed by a dog tied to a solid wood bench outside Starbucks. I was tempted to pet the dog, but the loose muzzle around its nose was a bit of a deterrent.

I continued walking down the street and was almost at Gail’s when suddenly something caught my eye. I looked up the sidewalk and saw the dog charging at full tilt down the street, dragging the massive bench in its wake.

What followed was a scene straight out of a movie. As the dog approached at lightening speed, people ran screaming to escape being pummeled by its force.

The canine, panicked and wild, ran to the zebra crossing, darted across the street, and took off down the sidewalk.

The bench, swinging behind him, careened into a table full of people outside a cafe, breaking glass and knocking one woman completely off her chair.

From there the dog jetted down the hill and out of sight, but not before several panicked Starbucks employees came running up to find out what had become of their precious oak patio furniture. Completely bizarre.

The Funny London Expat Coincidence

Also falling under the uncannily bizarre category is a conversation between my boyfriend and my colleague at dinner on Monday night.

Having established they both lived in Sacramento a few years back, their conversation went something like this:

My boyfriend: Where in Sacto did you live?

My colleague: I lived in this great Art Deco building…

My boyfriend: Wait, was it on the park?

My colleague: Yeah, actually, it was.

My boyfriend: On the corner?

My colleague: Yeah.

My boyfriend: On H Street? With an old landlady named Evelyn?

My colleague: Wow, yeah.

My boyfriend: Wow, I lived in the same building.

My colleague: Whoa, that’s pretty crazy.

My boyfriend: Yeah. You didn’t have the left-most parking garage spot, did you?

My colleague: Yes, actually, I did.

My boyfriend: And do you remember what number apartment you were in?

My colleague: No…

My boyfriend: Did you leave anything behind that I might have found?

My colleague: Not that I remember. Actually, I did leave a hanging rack for pots and pans…

My boyfriend: My apartment had a hanging rack for pots and pans. It looked like it was from Crate and Barrel or something.

My colleague: Yes, it was from Crate and Barrel!

My boyfriend: Wow, that’s really crazy.

My colleague: Bizarre.

What are the chances of two of the only people I know in London having lived in the same apartment in Sacramento before they moved to the UK? It’s such a funny London coincidence.

And speaking of places to live, my boyfriend and I are near the end of our second flat hunt in London.

We’re down to two places, both of which are gorgeous and far nicer than our current flat (not to mention jackhammer-free!). It looks like despite our evil landlady (who’s still telling lies and being horrible to us), we’ll have the last laugh.

The Funny London Cultural Experience

Moving onto the culturally humorous, I went to dinner the other night with a group of friends that regularly eats together on Tuesday nights.

After our meal we wandered over to a Mexican bar/restaurant, where the Americans in the crowd (5 out of 7 of us) stereotypically started debating what kind of margaritas we should order.

The other two members of our party, both of them French, also lived up to cultural stereotypes, lingering outside to finish their postprandial cigarettes. When they walked into the bar several minutes later, they asked what we had ordered.

“Margaritas,” was the reply. “What?” they asked. To our American-centric amazement, our French copines had never heard of our favorite Mexican drink. “You’ll love it,” we assured them. They didn’t.

The Funny London Blog Searches

And finally, in the category of just plain hilarious, I’ve been getting some rather…colorful…Google searches for my blog over the past several months. In February I wrote a blog post about my time in the English city of Bath.

I followed my usual post title format of “Lady in [insert name of place here]”. In my mind this was rather clear: a lady went to the historic spa town for the day to educate herself on Roman Britain and see the site of Jane Austen fame.

What I did’t anticipate was that my ill-fated title would draw a certain kind of unwanted reader who took the title to mean something entirely different.

This prompted a whole bunch of Google searches, the likes of which are not fit (or desired!) print in this blog. I was shocked and appalled; my boyfriend laughed till he cried.

Funny London

I hope you’ve enjoyed these funny London stories and that they’ve given you as good a laugh as they’ve given me. Happy laughing!

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