Lady’s Guide to a Highgate Cemetery Tour

Today I want to share with you about a self-guided Highgate Cemetery tour in London. I don’t usually spend my free time in cemeteries. It’s not that I have anything in particular against gravestones or funerary urns. It’s just…well…it’s just that they creep me out a little bit. On Sunday, however, I made an exception.

Highgate, London

Braving the frigid London cold, my boyfriend and I took a post-lunch stroll across Hampstead Heath into Highgate.

As we wandered up the hill towards Highgate village, we came across the entrance to the local cemetery. Usually when this kind of thing happens, I keep walking.

Highgate Cemetery

But Highghate Cemetery is a rare exception. Like Paris’ Pere Lachaise or Prague‘s Olsany, Highgate Cemetery is the place to be. Dead, that is.

And the English know it. In fact, they know it so well that they charge visitors a fee just to get in for a self-guided Highgate Cemetery tour—living visitors, that is. I’m sure they charge the dead a lot more than that.

And that doesn’t even grant one full access to the whole thing, just the East Cemetery. No, if you want to see the really famous tombs, you have to take a guided Highgate Cemetery tour of the West Cemetery.

Highgate Cemetery Tour

Having heard about Highgate Cemetery in the past and being slightly embarrassed about living so close without ever visiting, my boyfriend and I hopped into the queue for our chance to peruse the Victorian mausoleums of the rich and famous. And socialist.

That’s right, Highgate Cemetery is home to what is left of Karl Marx. His massive monolith of a tombstone—complete with a granite sculpture of his head that could kill any bourgeois capitalist in a hot revolutionary minute—was both impressive and unmissable.

It also made him look a bit like Santa Claus.

Further along on our self-guided Highgate Cemetery tour we came across rows of stones so old the writing had faded. Behind them lay stones that were set back in the woods among decaying foliage and thick tree branches.

The recent snow having melted away, the stones rose up out of inches-deep water that gave the place somewhat of a swampy feel.

Continuing our Highgate Cemetery tour, I started to notice a pattern among the headstones. It led me to believe that there must be a catalogue from which people can choose a marker for their grave.

The most popular stone from the fall 1946 season seemed to be a granite cross with cold gray lilies adorning the rock.

But not all the stones were so blase. A little further down the path we came across a unique marker in blueish marble. Its engraving was simple, yet effective.

It read: DEAD. It was nice to see that some English people retain their sense of humor even after death.

As we walked back towards the entrance on our Highgate Cemetery tour, we noticed an increasing number of stones with peoples’ greatest life accomplishments carved into them.

We learned of one dead man’s membership in several government commissions, another’s inclusion in an exclusive London members’ club, and yet another’s passion for ceramics.

It made me laugh a bit to think about whether it was the people within the graves that requested such things to be immortalized with their remains, or if it was their grieving relatives that wanted the world to know how accomplished they were.

My boyfriend promptly informed me that his headstone would read “He Let Jesus Take the Wheel”. I hope he’s not going to request to be buried in a church cemetery.

Our Highgate Cemetery tour came to an end with a rather bizarre stone that had a giant granite dog sculpture sitting atop it.

With no canine reference on the grave marker, I’m not sure if it was a ploy to scare off potential grave robbers or if possibly the dog was interred with its owner.

Or maybe it was just something the family did to help them spot their loved one’s grave in the sea of catalogue-bought lily-covered crosses. Either way, I liked the dog.

As we made our exit at the end of our Highgate Cemetery tour, I couldn’t help but feel a bit relieved to escape the rather gray world of death and be back in the more hopeful world of the living.

The cold persisted beyond the gates of the cemetery, but as we walked back through Hampstead Heath, the budding crocuses reminded us that spring was coming and new life would soon emerge from the necrotic ground of London.

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